Last week I placed my quarterly order with drugstore.com. They have a quarterly 5% back, plus it was gold card week for GNC items...and I went through eBates for another 5%. Several items we still can't purchase locally...

And, they had a offer, buy two soy nation products, get a $50 sample pack of all the different products they offer. It "sounded" reasonable.

I received it today. Whomever priced this at $50 worth of samples...well, hmmm...let's say I have NO interest in buying anything that would be THAT expensive. I'd have just said free samples myself.

I usually like drugstore.com's free with purchases. I'm adjusting to their new online manufacturer coupons...albeit I have not used one! And their online manufacturer rebates...well, okay, maybe.

But, this was a WASTE of my money. I purchased two packs of soy protein nutrition bars to get the sample pack, and yes, we do eat protein bars every day. But soy protein is not optimal, and we already know our favorite bars.

I KNEW better, if it's too good to be true to it usually is...but curiousity and savings greed got the best of me.

Yes, SAVINGS GREED. The greedy obsession to SAVE, even if you don't need to.

S-H-A-M-E.

We all make mistakes. We all learn (hopefully).

So, on to the next saving adventure.

or at least scored equally.

The Cornucopia organization recently released a report rating the quality of commercially available organic milks. While the article is quite long (38 pages), the alphatical scorecard is available at:


Organic Milk ratings[/url]

Surprisingly, or perhap...

It just can't be simple, can it?

I've been stressed all day, stomach chewing away, and no idea why. DH was the first to recognize it was because I needed to call my Dad and wish him (perhaps his last) happy birthday. I argued heavily, no, could not be it.

But I called, we called together, that WONDERFUL supportive DH I have. And, yes, I feel much more relaxed now.

Dad is so down to earth. He accepts dying as just another phase to living. He is so relaxed, calm, happy with his life, enjoying his family. Doctor appointments ON his birthday. And tomorrow, and the next day.

But he's happy. He's proud of his family, not himself. Such an amazing man.

Survival, I've learned that from BOTH my parents, in such different ways.

My mother, always motivated by the mounting bills, the need to have more and succeed and do better. Climbing out of poverty.

My father, the fulcrum balance. The one who made lemonade. Polio as a child...just an inconvience. Grape farm died in a drought...chickens had a disease...moved on to be a school custodian. He's a BRILLIANT mathematician, genius, but life didn't hand him the obvious way to exploit it. Instead, he passed his gifts, and his wisdom, on to his children. Humble, quiet, grounded. My touchstone in life, and now approaching death.

Whatever comes, he's content. While my mother has done a remarkable job striving to pull us out of poverty, he's done an equally remarkable job keeping us centered, grounded, aware of the greater things in life, and the frugal ways of planting a garden, chopping trees for heat in the winter, gleaning after the corporations have taken the best. Just part of living life.

Frugality, poverty, success, wealth, it's all relative to ones mindset. Life's a balance. You get what you get, and use it to the best of your abilities. Life changes, and you adjust.

No married couple agrees on everything, and finances is probably the most sensitive. What I've learned from my family...balance. My parents balance each other. They don't agree, they don't have the same stepping stones to achieving what they want. Yet they arrive there, balanced, grounded, and very real.

A slow day, cleaned house (cheated a bit and used some of those free Lysol wipes to wipe up things instead of cleaner), marinating Portabella mushrooms for some burgers to use up the buns.

Finally updated my coupons "have list", of what's available for everyone. LOL, because DH has his own idea of what products are, and filing, well...it's interesting where he files things. Sunsilk is NOT hair color, and well, not all flowered coupons are for feminine products

The have list is not a brag list, just what's available for request. Train members, do your best! It's no where NEAR a coupon queen list.

I froze the blueberries left from picking a few days ago. Have to be careful, as the Corgi saw me picking them, and now he is dragging me on the leash to eat them straight off the bushes! Does anyone know if dogs should eat blueberries? They are roped off from the deer, but he went right under the netting! Too smart for us!

We desperately need to go get more picked and frozen, and we are gearing up for the muffin bake. 50 dozen at a time, takes a day, and uses up every left over we have. Great way to use up cereal, milk, grains, protein powder, fruit, juice, ice cream, dried fruit, produce, candy, just a stockpile downsizer!

Next week, though. Today I'm tired, staring at all those little coupons. Most didn't get listed, as I'm not ready to type up all the inserts.

My sense of time is definitely off this week. Is it really Saturday? I didn't do the weekly grocery shopping; then again, I don't need to buy anything. Had a bit of a nap this morning (confessions are good for the soul, right?).

This afternoon, a bit of research and posting, following up on things that have gotten muddled over the last few days. DH is STILL filing coupons for the trains...and adding categories!

He announced last night he had added a separate category for ketchup. Why? Do we really have that many coupons for ketchup, they can't be under tomato sauces, or condiments, or just GENERAL?

My personal coupon box, yes, I do have many categories (but not for ketchup!), but when I'm in a store, I want to find a coupon quickly, not be in the aisle, and in the way, while I rifle through hundreds of coupons.

But for coupons that are going to others, really, why not just "personal care", "food", "beverage"...etc.

DH, I love him to BITS, he said

"people have wish lists, and we need to be able to find exactly what they want"

Seriously, it is very important to him that if someone asks for Kikkoman or soy sauce, or teriyaki sauces, we find the right match and make sure they receive it.

Of course, if he really thinks I am typing in the name of every coupon we have here...well, I'm not aiming for carpal tunnel...and the time is better suited to other things.

That has pretty much been the day!

Here in the states, tomorrow we celebrate independence day. Ironically, we celebrate independence from one of our closets allies. Unexpected? Perhaps.

Most good things in life, especially on the financial front, come not from great expectations, but from becoming independent from our expectations.

Me...I was expected to die young, from a pulmonary problem. 25 would be old. I was expected to marry a minister, teach piano, and lead a quiet life in a small town. I was expected to be a good wife, a better mother, and an even better daughter.

At all the above, I've failed. Miserably. Beyond miserably, I'm afraid.

I overcame the medical problem when I was 16. Oops.

The other expectations didn't change. I taught piano from age 12, I modeled throughout my teens, I worked as a pianist, as a CNA, all bringing home money to support my family before I was 18. I went to a local college while taking care of my mom and her businesses. Not easy to find a minister to marry, so the family planned for me to attend Oral Roberts university.

Only that didn't happen. Mom had some problems, I continued at a California university, staying at home, working 3 jobs. Caring for Mom and her businesses, being the good daughter. Expected to move out after graduation, get some trivial degree while I found that minister, got married, and got making babies!

Ooops, failed to meet that expectation too. Instead, I fell in love with a laser jock, a rocket scientist headed to grad school, and we were engaged within a week.

FAILURE.

But wait...what I *didn't* expect...



[*]Happily married for 25 years

[*]Ph.D. in medical research

[*]Discovering the cure for a disease

[*]Helping develop the original MRI technology (NMRi)

[*]Becoming a professor

[*]Becoming a senior scientist in an IT company, destined to fail, but which grew to purchase several companies, and be purchased itself by a Fortune 500.

[*]Traveling around the world as an "internationally recognized expert", with my company being paid $4000 a day for my time.

[*]Being whisked and relocated across country, taking a low level technical position, supporting my husbands reassignment.

[*]Rising to become a female SVP in a Fortune 500 company.

[*]Growing from poverty to wealth in 5 years of hard work and focus...while DH and DS fought unexpected cancers.

[*]Being assaulted, and retiring at 40.

[*]leading a Board of Directors for a non-profit organization, that finally succeeded, supporting hundreds of abused children

By my "expectations", total failure.

By my family's "expectations", beyond total failure.

But by going with the flow, and accepting the unexpected as an expected part of life, taking advantage of opportunities as they were presented, and learning to define my success as it comes, I feel okay about myself

Oh, yeah, and a few others seem to believe I'm a success too. Don't disillusion them!

Seriously, the greatest gift you can give yourself in reaching for financial independence, is to become independent of expectations. Go with the flow. You never know where it will take you.

Happy Independence Day!

I spoke briefly with my Mom yesterday, while DH was working on the software issue. She said simply, oh, meant to tell you on your birthday, Dad has lung cancer, will spend the next 6 months in agony before he passes. And I got my hair done...

I actually hung up. I've never done that before. But, Dad was doing better, on the mind, Mom is out of rehab after her broken hip, and I did not expect this devastation tossed carelessly among other trivial news of the day.

I want to be supportive, loving, caring, helpful. But I feel like I'm living through "daddy's dying, who'se got the will?" (okay, so I never saw the movie, but it sounds like it fits).

My Dad has wanted to move into a senior condo, where the door widths allow walkers and the bathrooms accomodate the handicaps that come with age. Mom has a walker now too, with her recovering broken hip. They need full time care.

Yet when I try to intervene, tell them to sell the house and take care of themselves NOW with whatever money they have or receive from the sale, I'm told I'm money hungry, since my sister wants the house. It seems backwards, and yet there it is.

It has been a shocker of a year. DH, coming from wealth and all the family issues that accompany it, has always described the emotions of family finances. Since I grew up poor, there were simply no finances to have emotions over. Or at least fight over, there were plenty of emotions about not having any "stuff" to fight over!

Families and finances are such a tough mix. I love my family to bits. I get letters from my brother reminding me I'm only a half sister, which a year ago was news to me, and all of us! I've always been the one supporting the families financially, we even pay for my sister's internet! We pay for their clothes, their books, their rent when needed. My sister has no heat in her house, which I can't fix, but I sent her fleece robes and thick electric blankets.

Oddly enough, when my DH and I were married, with 400 guests attending, my mother insisted my sister receive a good portion of my gifts for herself. A set of bath towels, which I replaced for her last year. She can buy her own, but she won't. She can pay for her own internet, but she won't.

And so, in the end, it still all comes down to money. And emotions. Everything that ever occurred, or didn't occur, in a lifetime of family ties, somehow becomes entwined in finances, money, inheritence, and painful emotions.

It's been a sad day. Good, in that I have an incredible DH, and loads of friends, but still, such sadness. In a time where I simply want to GRIEVE for my father, instead I am sorting out financial issues of OTHER PEOPLE. It's insane.

It's family finances.

Midlight has mailed her trains off. She still wants to contribute coupons to the team, even though she is too swamped to keep up with a train. New babies, no sleep.

So, kicking off two new coupon trains today, one that bounces all over the place, and one that is extremely localized.

DH helped me sort coupons. The entire room is covered with onesies and twosies. So many I just have one or two of, didn't post, because hey, I do have a life, and hey, I'm not that great at typing and, well, no one is THAT interested in random coupons. But, it's quite funny and so sweet. The trouble with being a rocket scientist, as I've learned over the years, is that they are either completely unorganized, and the random piles make complete logic to them, or they are obsessively accurately and precisely (there is a difference!) organized to the point of shutting down the process. Which is why he doesn't cook.

DH was responsible for putting our coupon box together last year, when we started from scratch. Which is, again, why it has 72 categories. I think there are more dividers than coupons at times, but then again, when I'm rushing through a store, I do know EXACTLY where to look.

Email is backed up, the problem with 15 inches of rain and no power, I'm afraid. I have surveys to take, and companies to contact, and articles to write (sorry, Jeffrey!). I've probably spent more than I saved this week. DH managed to save two of our birch trees, but they are, well, topped off? Other than that, we are in great shape.

So, nothing new to report in the challenges or savings. Other than we are hanging in there.

Wow, I'm a bit surprised. And saddened, not just by the change, but by all the concern members are expressing at that site.

I'm new to trading, I really don't have much experience. But, it's an interesting site, a place to contribute recipes and share the latest hot deal found at a specific supermarket. Or a rare find coupon.

There has been so much concern about personal info being sold to the other company, people wanting all their posts at DAGG deleted. So much so, they had to lock the comment thread after maybe a day.

I don't have any great wisdom or ponderings, just sadness that people feel betrayed. Perhaps relief that I'm not a moderator at THAT site. And mostly a touch of awe, at what a strong community, friends and family, a site can become.

Me, I love our community, be it our blogs or the www.savingadvice.com site. A close knit family, with opinions and advice, a few emotional battles now and then. But that's part of being a family. The good, the bad, the ugly, the spending and saving and free advice. Family.

Money. It brings families together, pulls them apart, and weaves them back together again.

An old expression from childhood, but very applicable today! We've had 15 inches of rain at the house, a tree is down, and a bit of repair work to do.

The expression is basically another version of penny foolish, pound wise. Not investing in the important things that may catch you short in the end.

Six years ago, we weren't really into putting up the bricks, figuratively or literally. New house, looked pretty solid. We did all the right things in planning, house was nowhere near flood plains, high enough, good swale, and not the highest point around (lightning).

The first downpour, and we realized the weather stripping around the front door looked perfect...except the rain came right through, and onto my wood floors! We, in our 24/7 work ethics, shoved towels into the cracks, wiped up the floor as often as possible, and kept saying we would "get around to it".

Loads of wet towel laundry later, time passed, and the door frame rotted out. Again, a bit of packing tape around the door as a short term fix...that was retaped over the days, then months, then years...

The basement...well, it's in ground. Nice and dry...except that when a downpour comes down onto the concrete exterior staircase, all that water makes a nice river down. There is a drain at the bottom, but it has to be cleaned out of debris. And, let's face it, 15 inches flows down to form a pool several feet deep.

Over the last two years, we've done a bit of "investing". DH removed the old door frame and replaced it himself. We changed the weather stripping. All the window caulking has been redone. DH has created an UGLY tarp system to flow the water over the stairs; it only gets put up when downpours are predicted, and it works extremely well.

DH received a wet/dry vac for his birthday, which works great for water in the basement; it also does a great job vacuuming the deck. Yes, the outside deck. All the little leaf and debris that accumulates between the boards can silt into a concrete that holds water, and rots out the deck. Even though we have Trex, it's not invulnerable. So, the gunk is vacuumed out.

In the end, we have spent a bit. We have saved ALOT. One nasty storm...and we did NOT lose our computers through a power surge through the modem or other lines. Since this has happend 4 times previously, four computers that could not be repaired...and phone lines, and water leaks, paint, so many little things.

Floods are free. Watering my garden, free. Saving the house...those few "bricks" were priceless.

It's an interesting time in my family. We may not be blood, but our lives remain thicker than water.

My brother is still hoping to retire soon. But he has a failure to launch child, 22, with no ignition source. DB keeps saying he will simply tell his son that he must move out when he retires. Truthfully, and matter of factly, he has been saying this for four years, perhaps even before. DB has two more children to go through college, and several grand children. No retirement funds, per say. And the son living with him doesn't work, and has no plans too.

My sister, in contrast, has moved back in with my parents at age 53. Right now, while they recover from their latest health crises, it almost makes sense. Except that my father really wanted to sell the house and move into a senior facility, where someone else would care for the yard and upkeep, and doorways are wide enough for wheel chairs and walkers. Mom breaking her hip and being in the hospital really showed how much they both need continuous care. But, my sister wants the house.

So, they are considering letting her move into the house, while they move into the retirement village.

But...buying in to the retirement village is...$300,000. Plus $300 a month for the continuous care. Despite what they firmly believe, that some how a government program will cover the costs, it doesn't work that way.

Somehow in figuring the costs associated with living after retirement, the price of caring for grown up children, or our declining parents, gets lost in the noise. Or maybe just the hope. Retirement sounds good, current expenses are low, and those unexpected costs, well, they are unexpected, right?

Wrong. Recent polls have shown that approximately half of the students attending university plan to RETURN HOME after graduation. Predictions for the cost of elder care is rising.

And so, we must put pen to paper again, and start working out all these costs.

But it's difficult. If these were business finances, the decisions are so crisp and clear. But family, emotions, muddies the water. Strings are attached, and "if we loved them..." or "we deserve, they deserve", all the feelings from a lifetime. It just seems so complicated.

I am learning a few things myself these days. One of them is the wonderful coupons available on meat. I have always assumed that was the one area I would have few coupons on. Yet, that is where I'm getting the best deals.

Today, $10 off Ranchers Reserve beef with purchase of 5 oral-B products. Floss, trial size, on sale. Then, the meat receipt itself is good for one of two rebates, $15 off $20 meat, or that $25 on $75 meat. I will have to review my old receipts to see which is the better deal. But, after coupons, the meat on sale is free. And, rib eye, chicken breast, ham.

DH continues to find coupons in the meat aisle. It's interesting to me, because it's the one place I never see them, whereas he can walk by a blinking super coupon machine deal and never see it. Guess it's a matter of importance, or priorities.

Picked up cole slaw mix (fresh express cabbage) free after $2 on 2 coupon. Tonight it will make oriental chicken salad. Chicken strips, almonds, mandarin oranges, pineapple, raman noodles, shredded carrots (organic, free after O $1 coupon this week), and Ken's asian dressing. YUM.

Yet, it wasn't a great day for shopping. I didn't need anything, really, other than some fresh air. It's been pouring, thunder, and the pup is skittish. His safety zone seems to be atop my head, and since he's 23 pounds now, well...

still need to buy a bra...and there is a clearance sale...but I just don't feel like it...he's started eating my socks again, the dog, that is, not the husband.

And so it goes!

I'm getting used to the gift of junk mail: freebies, coupons, ideas. Today, only a pile of magazines. Granted, good magazines, and all free. The New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, Men's Health, three others. Received three more yesterday. Prepared Foods update came, and I need to do another trend analysis, I suppose.

Instead, I'm just feeling out of sorts. I *finally* had time to skim the forums, a favorite treat I rarely have enough time for. One rude post from a site member to me, and all the wind leaves my sails. Dead in the water.

Such a silly thing, too. But deflating emotions often lead to deflated savings, or at least more spending!

Well, anyway, a no spend day. Worked out, enjoyed the pup in his wading pool. Got some great advice on the dog forum. And, our close friends have two of the national champions in agility (dog), and are starting their own training camp. Looking forward to helping them get up and running.

DH is cooking, he has no clue on using up the stockpile (although he expects me too ) so I'm intrigued what he is coming up with. I'm betting frozen dinners, but could be a frozen pizza. As long as he's not running out for take out from our favorite restaurant, it's fine.

I am getting better at reporting problems. I purchased 4 bags of salad greens at the store, only to find ONE expired that day. We were in a hurry, and I forgot to check.

I emailed Fresh Express. Even though I never received an email, today I received FOUR coupons for FREE product.

I hate complaining about things. I hate wasting money more. It's a huge leap for me to take the time to contact companies, but the rewards are definitely there.

I do enjoy contacting companies to tell them I love their products, and am so glad they are available. But, it still takes time, which is valuable in it's own right.

So far, I'm just accumulating the coupons and letters. DH will NEVER contact a company, no matter how much food we've thrown out or money we've wasted. But, he's budged a bit, to at least writing down package info if there's a problem. Hopefully after awhile I will have enough "rewards" accumulated for him to see that it does make a difference in our grocery budget. Or, maybe at the end, I'll see it's a wash. At the very least, I'll have a bit more discipline in focusing my produce choices BEFORE we spend the money.

Well, given our trains desire for all things Pampers, as opposed to the other brands, I decided to look into the Pampers membership program (coupons and special offers). Hmmm...you need to have a baby, fair enough, and you need to provide the babies personal information. Why? Coupons and Other Special Offers and promotions are, according to Proctor and Gamble, timed to your babies specific needs. And, very limited. One coupon every few months. Contacting them, I was informed that coupons are available in the local papers, and privately issued coupons are available through the Pampers program as determined by the information you provide.

Hmmm...

And onto the other P&G products, Tide, Covergirl, Clairol, Dawn, Olay, Mr. Clean...I was informed that coupons are available in the PG saver newspaper inserts, and through special programs such as VocalPoint and individual clubs. Eligibility for coupons is at the discretion of Proctor and Gamble.

Which gets to my previous post...



http://flash.savingadvice.com/2006/06/13/proctor-and-gamble-coupons-at-will_10023/

While I'm becoming more aware of the black market for coupons, I am also seeing, perhaps, a bit of the "need" for the black market coupons. I do understand that you should have a baby to receive baby coupons...but why does MY AGE, or my marital status, or even my standards for being a "good wife" (i.e., obedient to my husband) determine my eligibility to receive coupons and special offers.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Proctor and Gamble manufacturers, well, a bit of everything, and probably something in everyone's household. Secret Deodorant, Pantene, Dawn, Clairol, Tide...and recently Gillette...etc.

I recently took two surveys, proportedly by P&G, signing up to receive promotions for products from two of their web sites.

Seemed simple enough...name, address, email, age...information required so that they can direct the "appropriate" offers to you. But I wonder, both asked for a rating on whether or not, and how strongly I felt, that married women should COMPLETELY OBEY their husbands.

An interesting question, and one that is frequently debated. Myself, well, being raised in a Mennonite community provides strong feelings, as does regularly counseling and supporting battered and abused women and children. I am intimately familiar with the many facets involved in this question.

But what does this have to do with P&G directing coupons or offers my way?

I was pondering this with a friend, who noted their new VocalPoint program. To quote from their site:

Vocalpoint is a unique marketing brand powered by the Procter & Gamble Company that helps companies do a better job developing products and services that moms care about and want to talk about.

We work with this influential group of moms to help companies in industries that include entertainment, fashion, music, food and beauty. We collect feedback and generate valuable knowledge and insight for our clients through surveys, product sampling and previews of products and services.

Procter & Gamble have offered a variety of freebies to people who enroll in VocalPoint. There is the potential to participate in future programs for new products. Members are promised new products to evaluate, free samples.

What they don't tell you, before you attempt to register, is that they are looking for female moms with chidren living at home between the ages of 5 and 19. Officially. Unofficially, my friend with son, younger than one, was accepted immediately, while another friend, with child age 6, but herself 45, was not.

I checked it out...and confirmed, it accepted a signup for identical information, children, etc., except for the age...seems to be a cutoff around 35 - 40.

So, are offers and coupons not "appropriate" for older Moms? Why are only Moms, not Dad's, included? And, why don't they indicate this before enticing you to provide your personal information?

Granted, they want actual information, not skewed to fit the requirements to get the freebies.

And what are the freebies? No one I know received the free samples, bundle of products or coupons. So far, a dozen flyers to pass out about a new tv show, a dozen recipe cards to pass out advertising a Blender. Product test? No. Coupons? Nope. Free samples? None I've heard of.

P&G indicates this program is to have Moms help with marketing of things Moms like. It appears that it has more to do with P&G marketing what they want to Moms.

I ask again, what does that have to do with receiving special offers? Special offers are, in fact, equivalent to coupons at will: as in "employee at will", there is no LEGAL requirement for ANYONE to receive offers. P&G is within their rights to single out whomever they want. They can provide offers, or they can deny them. At will. In whatever manner they deem reasonable.

Misleading, yes. Reasonable...I have my doubts.

If you are a member of any forum, you will know what I'm talking about...those little "points" that accrue each time you post (example is www.savingadvice.com). They don't monetary value, they can't be traded at this point.

But, you can cash them in to upgrade the appearance of your name, add color or flashes or, well, I don't know what...because when I went to add color, it told me how many points it would cost, and I said, oh, no, that's WAY too many points...

Since they have no specific value, I don't know what I'm "saving" them for, or why I don't want to see the numbers decline without good reason.

I CAN absolutely tell you that I feel the same about my savings, checking, any account. That's a huge part of the saving and "wealth" mindset being described in so many current books. I'm not a hoarder, I don't collect much of anything, but NUMBERS, oh, numbers, may they never decrease!

I don't think it's so much about frugalness as it is being raised to conserve, and not waste.

Still, they are JUST POINTS.

It's cleaning day. Shouldn't be, but it is.

DH has cleaned the last two weekends, and, well...he said he washed all the outdoor clothes, covered with all the black dye from the mulch, and so much else. However, he has NO concept of pretreat, Shout, Clorox 2, or anything except the COLD cycle.

And, absolutely no concept of mildew. After 23 years, I happen to believe a rocket scientist should, in fact, understand that if you pile a bunch of wet stuff together in a warm room with lots of gardening remnants, and leave it wadded up, the black stuff growing might NOT be mulch dye. Especially when it has that particularly AWFUL smell.

DH lost his sense of smell 20 years ago, though, lab rat that he was. Prior to regulation and good lab safety.

He should also understand the tensile strength of DELICATES versus DENIM. But, alas, he's still a one stop washer.


So, today, I sorted out the pile of jeans/shorts/tshirts/socks (serious, they were white before, now they have black stripes) underwear, delicates, and 5 pairs of shoes. Also all the throw rugs and mats by the doors. And, low and behold, since our dear little Corgi LOVES water, turns out DH has been playing water games with him during the bath/shower. Squirt, splash, mildew soaked rugs there, too.

Surpringly, the laundry did come clean. Smells great. Used the Gain apple mango tango (?) sample on the puppy stuff.

And while all the laundry was going, I scrubbed down the house. DH put the screens back in the windows (they come out for the winters here), and had a nice fresh air day.

Have not come up with this weeks saving challenge yet.

For now, a good friend passed this morning from cancer, so time to settle ourselves and prepare to visit.

I spent a bit of time last year canceling all the outrageous priced auto-renewals that the magazine publishers had been sneaking by on our credit cards. Saved a fortune, renewed the few DH loves for basically nothing. And, signed up for a few FREE with business news. And Club Mom. And BizRate. And...well, I figured free might include some coupons or offers, and I had no idea that once I signed up for one, they would send them ALL to me, free of course...

...but I realized, skimming through one in the salon yesterday...ALL of the free magazines - Cosmos, Vogue, Harpers Bazaar, Better Homes and Gardens, Redbook - to name only a few that have been piling up - ALL are full of ads and articles informing me of how to SPEND my money.

Not ONE is a finance magazine, or about SAVING money.

Granted, I don't really read these things, skim through them, and I will have to get around to cancelling them because I certainly did NOT ask for most of them. But...hmmm...these free magazines are really just one more way to send me free marketing materials into my home. BUY ME MUST HAVE ME BUY ME MUST HAVE ME...

Yikes!

I'm curious if anyone else has noticed this?

Yes, those blue plastic recycling grocery bags pile up, often faster than the recycling does. And our home recycles just about everything, including the inner roll of the TP.

Most people have seen the drop offs to recycle the bags at the stores. Here, any curb side recyle that is NOT paper must go into those blue bags.

And yet, here my friend is filling her garbage with her extra unused blue bags! ACK! She had too many, she said, so she was throwing them out. ACK!

Worst case, you can fill a blue bag with blue bags and recycle the whole thing! Or, find other uses for them.

One personal example...inside my house is cream color carpet, cream walls, white tile floors, and cream furniture...and outside is red clay dirt. Two acres of gardening, mulching, and mud! No matter how many ice chests I fill for drinks and food before we go out to garden, there is the rule of water in, water out...and a need to come inside at some point during the day.

I keep a pullout drawer full of the bags at the back door. Slip one over each foot, tie the handles together, and walk through without leaving a trail. Works great when moving, too, all the dirt going in and out.

They also work great as a quick wrap around a loaf of bread, or anything that needs a quick cover.

I'm sure many people have many great uses for them, even before they eventually get recycled. The garbage can isn't one of them!

Couldn't happen. No matter how I try to get rid of them, more follow!

I started the day in a bit of a funk...and, well, first the EPT, purchased free after instant rebate in bulk at Costco before my last miscarriage. Then the Estroven Test, free, surprisingly, I received a coupon when I asked the company for info on well, let's just say I'm starting to feel my age. They were on discontinued clearance a few weeks ago, and I bought it on a freebie whim.

Both negative. More funk. I'm usually a very tidy, well organized, and extremely clean person. However, with coupons multipling like rabbits, well, maybe tribbles...they seem to be expanding to fill the space.

But, a day for a hair cut and color. Not the $200 treatments of a year ago, just something simple. Then dinner with friends.

Dropped by a store to pick up a bottle of wine for the occasion, and...coupons, wine tags. DH pulled me out of the store after I started to explore all the tear pads. Coupons on ice, on alcohol? Oooh, a nice one on pasta sauce. Yes, indeed, wine tags often have coupons on NON-wine items.

So, added a few more things to my have lists. And to the growing piles in the other room, where the Corgi waits to play in them.

A day without coupons...PLEASE?

Tonight we eat salmon, asparagus, fresh corn on the cob, and mangos!

It's a strange perspective for me, personally. DivaJen, you asked about our spending...last year at this time, this would have been my weekly purchase, no sales, coupons, discounts, cash back cards and rebates to follow...

We had salmon at least once a week, steak, wonderful salads. To the mix, I would have added another $50 - 100 at Trader Joes, some DVDs from Costco.

The eye shadow compact from Costco, which I purchased after trying a free sample, well, that would have been at least $50 of MAC from Nordstrom. And I would not have tried it first, no time or interest, just pitch it if I didn't like it.

Yesterday DH and I both picked up additional items and put them in the cart...and then thought, what are we doing??? I don't need a 30 pack of post-its, just because I can't FIND the ones I purchased last time. They are somewhere in the house, probably buried by DH. He'll find them. We didn't need two boxes of Zone bars, when I can find them much cheaper elsewhere.

So, in contrast to last year, when we would have spent $500 a week easily, each and every week, because it was EASY, and would have tossed out anything that wasn't right, we have both changed our ATTITUDES. Takes a bit more time, thought, effort, and planning up front, but so much easier in the after math!

Still not able to knock that grocery budget down? It’s time to stop looking at the spending, and start evaluating the budget.

Most Americans spend at least $40-50 per person each week on food. Sound high? Break down the numbers. At $6 a day… $1 for breakfast, $1 for lunch, $1 for a snack, and $3 for dinner? How much does each meal actually cost? Don’t forget juice, soda, milk, coffee, tea, creamer, sweeteners. Protein powders, diet shakes, candy, gum, mints, ice cream. What does each person in your family put in their mouths each day, and how much does it cost?

Now, add in the cost of coffee and fast food on the way to work or running errands; lunch out with coworkers; soda and snacks from the vending machine; an occasional drink after work, or a few bottles of wine; maybe fast food or even a restaurant family meal.

Yikes.

Now add in to your grocery cart the additional items: OTC products like aspirin, cold or allergy treatments, Visine, band-aids, vitamins…and on to beauty and person care items like toothpastes, tooth brushes, shampoos, razors, tampons (and accessories  )…and don’t forget the cleaning items for dusting, vacuuming, mopping, polishing, wiping and sanitizing. Throw in the odd laundry basket and dish towel, and you’ve got…

A grocery budget.

Despite what most budget planners would like to believe, the grocery budget requirements are fairly fixed. While there may be some items you can eliminate, there are quite a few that you can’t. To set a realistic budget, you need to look at these costs straight on. Work out the numbers. Do not assume sales, coupons, or any other cost cutting measures. You can learn to decrease costs, but to set a realistic budget, you have to be realistic for the present, current, actual expenses.

The list of expenses can probably be cut. Again, be realistic. It’s easy to say you will start taking your lunch, cut out all snacks, skip the vending machine. It’s quite another thing to do it, and continue doing it over months and years. The GOAL is not to get the budget as low as possible; the goal is to create a budget that you can stay within, and then apportion it into your overall budget for living expenses.

Once you have a budget, the goal is to maintain the boundaries. This is not DECREASING the boundaries. The problem with grocery budgets is generally not that the expenses are increasing; it’s that other costs are running over, and you try to decrease the grocery expenses to accommodate everything else!

If you don’t think so…ask yourself four questions:

1. when was the last time you ate spaghetti for a week so you could afford trendy shoes, a better vacation, a manicure, lunch or dinner out…

2. when was the last time you passed on new shoes so you could eat steak, fresh produce, or a higher quality breakfast cereal?

3. when was the last time you put savings from your grocery budget into the bank?

4. when was the last time you put savings from your grocery budget into a different purchase?

Once you have a realistic grocery budget, and have carved it’s place into your overall budget, then you can begin to work on decreasing costs using sales, coupons, rebates, and stockpiling to save money, and even reducing the budget requirements. Until then, you are setting yourself up for failure.

I've been pondering this for awhile now...with Jeffrey's quest to find 101 Painless Ways to Save Money...what are the painful ways? For me, wasting money seems much more painful than saving it.

I asked my husband. He said, people today feel that they can't LIVE without the latest technology; it's painful if they don't have it.

I read Money Talk$ blog, who's coworker seemed to feel that way.

I must be quite an oddity to most people. I'm on several technology forums and panels, and advisory boards. As an SVP I was directing technology development around the world.

But I don't really care if I own it.

A television that lasts 10 years is much better than a plasma tv that blows in 11 months (hope you purchased THAT warranty) and costs twice as much. I had to request a cell phone that DOESN'T take pictures, and I enjoy the new computer, but it's not the top of the line, and I wouldn't have purchased it if the old one hadn't crashed one last time.

Painful?

When I think of painful savings, I am reminded of the Best Man at our wedding. He was a brilliant computer programmer, and job offers were abundant. He could have written his ticket at any company.

We had all just graduated from university, and while DH and I were off to pursue advanced degrees, our Best Man took his degree in computer science and set out to discover himself. He spent all his money on gizmos and gadgets, until Mom and Dad stopped paying the bills. He lived a freestyle life for awhile, drifting here and there, working occasionally to get the latest and greatest.

He could have gone to MIT. He could have had the biggest house and the hot car, and everything that comes with TIME.

Instead, all his brilliant knowledge became outdated, as did his financial security. He ended up living under a bridge, trying to pick up odd jobs, digging ditches or cleaning sewers. Saving whatever money he could earn just to return to the basics, a room in an apartment, clean clothes, the ability to walk through a door into a job interview without security being called.

When I think of PAINFUL ways to save money, living under a bridge to cut costs is towards the top of the list.

Doing without a faster processor or larger flash drive is not.

There will always be something newer, or different, latest and greatest. Whatever you purchase today is NOT new tomorrow. But if you spend your life wasting NEW MONEY, you will never have OLD MONEY. You will never have MONEY. You will only HAVE. And, then what do you have?

Hmmm. I've been so busy lately, I haven't even taken time to evaluate how much I've saved since I joined this site and started FOCUSING on saving.

I just looked over at my info, and realized between the "extra money" from the $20 challenge and the "grocery savings", I've saved over $10,000 since Jan. 1.

That doesn't include all the savings realized since October 1, when DH and I started this savings challenge.

This is one of those strange examples, where a financial crisis turns everything around for an even larger financial success.

We had just become complacent, not focused on spending, but completely ignoring our ability to save. Then an error at the bank, and we were living on no income and no access to savings for 6 months. So, back to our roots. Coupons, sales, STOP BUYING, STOP WASTING. A bit more thinking. We priced out Rx and saved $1K a month. We canceled magazines and memberships; ones we wanted to keep we canceled and found other ways to have them for free. We checked out rates, our insurance costs, our credit cards. Insulated the attic for free. Bought energy saver light bulbs for almost free. So many ways that money needlessly slips away while ones back is turned.

So, DH started adding it up. Besides the $10K saved in grocerys and the extra income trickling in, we've saved an extra...

$15K, in addition to the $10K. That's $25K that we normally would have spent, SAVED in six months! And, even though we knew many of the things to do before I joined the site, we weren't doing them!

Saving Advice really inspired us to think outside the box, reminded us of what we should have already been doing, and gave us new ideas. Everyone in the community has provided such friendly encouragement, good advice, and much appreciated support.

I might add, this savings was DESPITE having some major life crises, health issues, unforeseen expenses, and many barricades to "success".

I should be celebrating, but I still have mulch to lay...I want to claim that $4500 savings on Spring gardening!

If I can offer any encouragement, it's DON'T GIVE UP. I have been through a whirlwind. Emotional fire storms. I mean, how many times do you find out you have cancer, your dog has cancer, your father is not your father but BTW he is dying, your family abandons you, you have no income or access to savings...I haven't been through nearly as much as many of you. But hopefully it's been enough that you can see that you can have some financial successes, even in tough times.

It has been quite a week. I've just sent out another 10 welcome packets with free coupons to our two new trains. Now to get the trains going.

I've received several "requests", or rather DEMANDS, to join trains this week. Two actually thought the coupon trains were simply a package of free grocery coupons that go around. Wait. That IS what it is.

Except that you have to have coupons to replace the ones that you take out.

Flash is NOT a freebie!

I am a hopefully nice person with many coupons, who knows how to get coupons easily. Not printables, but good solid manufacturers coupons. Coupons for free products. Rebates for free products. Coupons for significant savings on your groceries. Refunds.

Coupons are just fertilizer for the budget, though. They aren't magic beans that grow savings while you aren't looking. Significant savings, consistently reaching 50-100% off your grocery bill, requires getting coupons, teaming them with sales and rebates, and stockpiling the great deals so you don't waste money down the road, after the sale or coupon has expired.

We have a site to teach you how to do this. Step by step.

www.GroceryCouponGuide.com


This is where the details on HOW and WHERE to get coupons, how to maximize your savings, how this whole system WORKS is located.

Me, I'm just a person. I just sent out 10 envelopes of coupons, at $10.77 of my money, to start two more trains. I'll be sending out the trains next week. I am HOPING that they are of great benefit to those that receive and use them.

I'm also hoping that everyone will use the grocerycouponguide.com site, and learn how to get great coupons specific to their needs for themselves.

My goal is not to feed you coupons for a day, but to teach you to fish for your own, and save for a lifetime.

So, join a train. But also use all the other techniques we are teaching you on the site. Otherwise, I'm just wasting web space.

Thanks for all the tips. No offense from the laughter...if you could have seen my DH's face when I came out of the bath in stripes

I'd have thought GoJo would take anything off. We use it mucking out stables. Nope, don't have a horse farm, but I'm on the board of directors for a non-profit giving counseling to abused kids, and they spend quite a bit of time with the horses, equine therapy. I don't mind mucking stalls for a good cause!

I'm now gray and pink...Calamine lotion. Poison oak, ivy, AND sumac.

I do this every year. We have wild strawberry vines as a ground cover in our wild back frontier, and it is lovely every spring as it spreads its way out. So I am thrilled to see it spreading even more, in new places, and I nuture it and trim it...and realize it IS NOT wild strawberry.

The savings lesson for the day...be careful before you grab up those great offers that seem too good to be true. Like my magically spreading wild strawberries, they may not be what they seem!

Me.

As part of our gardening odyssey of savings, DH upgraded our mulch to a high quality. Hmm...very dark. Mulch is usually very dark in a wet pile, but fades out once it dries in the sun. So...I didn't think too much about it...

SLATHERED myself in sun screen. Red headed, fair skinned me.

Turns out, DH paid extra to buy the permanently dyed mulch...black...and it is quite stunning. It resists fading, so keeps that beautiful freshly laid look year round. So they say.

And it was still such a huge savings!!! I'm thrilled!!!

Except...I wore sandals for part of the day. Didn't really look at the bottoms of my feet when I showered yesterday. Knees were a bit dark. But today...knees are BLACK. Feet are BLACK. It won't scrub off. It won't PUMICE off!

That's when DH tells me he bought PERMANENTLY DYED black mulch...and yep, it's PERMANENTLY on me. With the sunburn, the black feet, and the white lines of where the sun stopped and my shirt and shorts were...well, I'm quite a sight!

So, a tiny extra expensive from this garden savings. And I really do hate to say this, it goes against everything...but if we saved $4500 on gardening, I am going to spend $20 and get some nice bath gel to SOAK this stuff off in!

AH.

This is, of course, the downfall of any savings plan. Saving money and considering the savings as something to be spent elsewhere. NEVER EVER EVER allow yourself to do this. Saving is the reward!

Unless you have permanently dyed black knees and feet.

Tried to go shopping today, but there was a murder at our courthouse, and I was stuck in traffic for an hour. Maybe tomorrow.

Who knew?

I was working on the list of company contacts, and sorting through the links and newsletters for Dove freebies and coupons and there it was...

a page of ALL their free offers

Dove Freebies

I believe there are 7 freebies right now, four shampoos, night cream, deodorants...

so why have I been working so hard to find and post these things?

Just proves, when you do things for others, they turn around for you too!