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things to ponder BEFORE retirement

June 24th, 2006 at 09:24 pm

It's an interesting time in my family. We may not be blood, but our lives remain thicker than water.

My brother is still hoping to retire soon. But he has a failure to launch child, 22, with no ignition source. DB keeps saying he will simply tell his son that he must move out when he retires. Truthfully, and matter of factly, he has been saying this for four years, perhaps even before. DB has two more children to go through college, and several grand children. No retirement funds, per say. And the son living with him doesn't work, and has no plans too.

My sister, in contrast, has moved back in with my parents at age 53. Right now, while they recover from their latest health crises, it almost makes sense. Except that my father really wanted to sell the house and move into a senior facility, where someone else would care for the yard and upkeep, and doorways are wide enough for wheel chairs and walkers. Mom breaking her hip and being in the hospital really showed how much they both need continuous care. But, my sister wants the house.

So, they are considering letting her move into the house, while they move into the retirement village.

But...buying in to the retirement village is...$300,000. Plus $300 a month for the continuous care. Despite what they firmly believe, that some how a government program will cover the costs, it doesn't work that way.

Somehow in figuring the costs associated with living after retirement, the price of caring for grown up children, or our declining parents, gets lost in the noise. Or maybe just the hope. Retirement sounds good, current expenses are low, and those unexpected costs, well, they are unexpected, right?

Wrong. Recent polls have shown that approximately half of the students attending university plan to RETURN HOME after graduation. Predictions for the cost of elder care is rising.

And so, we must put pen to paper again, and start working out all these costs.

But it's difficult. If these were business finances, the decisions are so crisp and clear. But family, emotions, muddies the water. Strings are attached, and "if we loved them..." or "we deserve, they deserve", all the feelings from a lifetime. It just seems so complicated.

2 Responses to “things to ponder BEFORE retirement”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    I lived with my parents until I got married right after I turned 25. But from the time I finished college I worked and paid 33% of the power bill, 33% of the gas bill, 33% of the garbage/water/sewer and half the cable because I had them upgrade. I bought my own food and kept it in a second fridge/freezer and cooked all my own meals. I paid $100 rent also and helped with the cleaning and ran errands for my parents. This worked really well for us and it gave me the idea of what living in the real world would be like. I'm thankful for it.

  2. LISA178 Says:

    My sister is the Activity Director in a small nursing home and I have to say it's not a pretty picture financially.

    I hear stories that break my heart,nursing homes eating up life savings ad when it's all gone the perks you got for being private pay are gone just as fast.

    All I can say is don't leave your parents care up to the facility totally. Please be as hands on as possible and don't assume the homes have your parents best interest in mind. Now don't take that statement the wrong way,alot of people who work in these facilities are caring and loving individuals, I just want yo to remember these place are a business and the dollar is the bottom line. Ask questions and keep asking questions,be pro-active for your parents.

    I loss both my parents by the time I was 16 and think of them everyday.

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