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God has a sense of humor?

March 23rd, 2006 at 01:44 pm

My niece sent this to me. It's going IN to the stockpile of humor. For all you moms:

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.


After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T ! "

"Don't what? "
Adam replied.


"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit! ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! "


"No Way! "

"Yes way! "


"Do NOT eat the fruit! "
said God.

"Why ? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "
God asked.


"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.


"Then why did you? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.


"She started it! "
Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "


Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.


2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.


3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.


4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.


5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:


"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND
"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

3 Responses to “God has a sense of humor?”

  1. retire@50 Says:

    That was cute. I passed it on to family and friends with children. I don't have any of my own, I just borrow my nieces, but this is definetely one of the reasons why Smile

  2. PrincessPerky Says:


    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

    I love that one! I hope it doesn't come true next month for GMCs birthday!

  3. flash Says:

    I love #4,

    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

    Has happened WAY too many times.

    The blessing for me, is that I raised my niece, so it's kind of like getting this back from my own daughter, who is dealing with her own kids. Smile

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