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Mom Fell again today - twice!

March 31st, 2009 at 12:23 pm

My Mom has steadfastly refused to accept in home care, a paid roommate, or (gasp) stay in a retirement home or facility. But since Dad past, she's really had a difficult time.

She fell two weeks ago, and laid outside on the grass, in the rain, for over an hour. She canceled the beeper system I ordered, and the one she replaced it with would not pick up outside the home.

I've begged my sister to sell my Mom's house (it's in my sister's name now) and get care for Mom. But my sister is banking on the house for her own retirement.

Mom fell twice today, and I have an upset email from my sister. Because the housing market is down, she is refusing to sell, or even do a reverse mortage of some sort, and expects me to cover the costs of care. The quotes she gave me are over $2000 - $10,000 a month! I can't do that.

I can't go out there, I'm still recovering from my own accident and can't really even travel, let alone care for another person. DH is furious, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I just don't have the money to cover that kind of expense. We are just redoing our budgets and trying to work out our expenses after a very long year of medical issues.

My heart is breaking.

8 Responses to “Mom Fell again today - twice!”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    ((hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope a resolution that works for everyone comes to light!

  2. dmontngrey Says:

    I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through.

  3. Aleta Says:

    I'm sorry to hear about this. How old is your Mom?

    It's just a lousy market to sell anything right now.

  4. NJDebbie Says:

    Hope everything gets resolved soon, ((HUGS)) coming your way!

  5. mom-from-missouri Says:

    Just an idea (what my family did for my Grandma), do you have room for her to stay with you? And rent her house out?

    OR, does she have a room she could let a woman have free room & board in exchange for being there with her? We did that for the 2 months it took for my Grandma to be well enough to travel to my aunts home in FL from IN.

    Does she have any services to check on her? In my area we have:

    meals on wheels (for $2.75 they deliver lunch daily and notify someone if she doesn't answer the door--so that is a check on her at noon)


    Local volunteers (usually scouts or churches or college groups that rotate this daily) that call & check on people at no charge at 1-33 hour intervals--they then call and report to the responsible party if they are unable to reach the person.

  6. boomeyers Says:

    I'm sorry you are so down! My mom won't let us get her help for my dad either. Very frustrating!
    Mom from Missouri's ideas were great. Keep focusing on what you CAN do to help and not what you can't do. Just good luck getting your sister to cooperate and if she won't follow along, at least you tried.

  7. Broken Arrow Says:

    That's terrible! Why would she expect you to foot that bill? And yet she doesn't want to take drastic measures for herself?

    Although I do feel kind of bad for questioning someone's mother to begin with, but at the same time, it doesn't seem right to me.

  8. flash Says:

    Thank you all so much for the support! It's been getting worse, and I'm blogging more about it.

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