Hmph. I was the exact same weight and dress size for 25 years. I lost weight after the assault, and when I was gaining it back, everyone was telling me to put on a bit more. Just a bit more. I thought I looked great. Husband thought I looked great. But I did gain a bit more on some of the meds, and thought I was okay with it. First time in 25 years I *had* to buy new clothes. I needed too anyway, when I retired and went from business suits to sweats. Then I went back part time, bought some clothes in a larger size for the office. Then I gained a bit more, and a few more clothes. Again. Now, for the holidays, MD bought 5 pairs of jeans one size up for me. While I love him for caring, I hate me for needing it.

I've been resisting. Clothes are outrageously expensive. Last year I switched to skirts, elastic waists and looser, purhcased at clearance sales, boots to go with, stretchy pants, long sweaters. This last weight increase, though, I just said NO, no more money wasted. So, I've been griping about not being able to button my jeans and doing all those pregnant tricks, like slipping a rubber band through the button hole and over the button. Lots of hubbie shirts and sweats.

It's not that I look bad. I went from a size 4 to a 2 to a 4 to a 6 to an 8. Now a 10. But clothes are expensive, and every role, be it wife, athlete, executive, friend, housewife, maid, cook, everything requires something different. There are health reasons for me, also, the breast cancer scare and the family history of diabetes and high cholesterol and heart attack, GI, etc. Insurance. Risk. How I feel physically, emotionally. The worse I feel about how I look or worse, how I am dressed, the more I spend on other things, until eventually I buy some decent fitting clothing. But at some point this has to stop!

My sister does this, too. At 250 pounds, she is always losing or gaining weight, always buying new clothes. Having new clothes is wonderful, but the bills are not. Hubbie also, was a 32" waist when we married, got up to a 40, now is back to a 36". In between, 10 pairs of jeans a year, and countless suits and dress pants and shirts, etc., and the cost is absolutely staggering to look back on.

So, this year, I'm going to manage my meds AND my weight, and get back down one size. I have a closet full of clothes I liked at that size. If I go down two, fine. No more, and certainly not up.