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emotions, gifts, and savings

November 24th, 2005 at 04:49 am

Tis the season. I love giving gifts. I love saving. I love taking care of everyone.

I'm making progress on finding gifts for friends and family without blowing the budget. But I am really feeling the tug of emotions to do more for everyone.

It's been a difficult year for our family. Brother had a nasty divorce, moved 1000 miles away with one of the kids, while his ex-wife, whom I love, kept two of the children with her. My brother is hurting, the kids are hurting, and my SIL has become the crucible for everyone's anger. They are SO poor, barely getting by before the divorce. Hubby and I have had our own medical problems.

Sister still struggles with cancer, and everyone is struggling with diabetes, heart disease, money. In addition, brother came out of the closet, and for some reason my mother announced that the man who raised me is not my father. He is hurting. Mom is hurting.

I find myself torn, the desire to buy everyone whatever it takes to SHOW them that I love them, I support them, it will be okay. To try to make it better for everyone.

It's particularly difficult because we are retired, living off of savings. So, I can see the money in the bank, it would be so easy to just spend away until *I* feel better. Worrying about having money 10 years from now, well, that's 10 years from now. The holidays are NOW.

But the reality is that no amount of money can buy back the past, or change the present. I have to choose the future that we are all going to inherit. Gifts are not a fix. Having money available in the future might be.

BUT IT IS SO DIFFICULT.

2 Responses to “emotions, gifts, and savings”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    ((hugs)) I know what you mean...families CAN be difficult and, sometimes it feels as is all the pain in the world got heaped up onto just one family...and, I, too am one of those people that feel the need to do more...right now, I wish I had $500 to give to my sister so she could go see her son "graduate" from the rehab program he's been in for the past 2 years...HIs US residency came through while he was in the program, so he left ES and went to finish the program in the US-same program, they have "branches" there....it seems so unfair that it is his father - who hardly ever visited him and who never paid a dime for the program - is getting to be at the graduation, while my sister, who is the one who had to corner him into signing up for the program by kicking him out of the house, never missed a visit, became part of the Family Committee at the Center and paid the monthly fees- gets left behind because we have no money for her to go to the US....I "have" the money - but, it's already allocated and, I WOULD hurt if I gave it to her! so, no, I cannot do it! ((sigh))
    I hope that the love that you so obviously feel for your family can help heal some of the wounds!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I'm reading your posts rather late so fogive me if I don't know a lot about you. I had no idea you were retired! Typically, I find these boards are frequented by the "working" folk who are looking for ways to save, reduce debt, and want tips for getting ahead.

    As for making your retirement money last....have you thought about joining an investment club? You seem quite sharp in money matters so this might be a good match. I've just found a group I like and will be joining in the new year! The president of the club has an MBA and likes to challenge the members rather than turn it into a social club. KWIM? While the club operates with a small contribution from each member ($100/quarter) and buys/sells with a majority vote, we are each free to use the knowledge we gain and invest our own funds as we see fit.

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